• 10 months ago
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    I've missed Egg a lot recently. It comes in waves then goes for a while. I don't like saying it because his family must feel it far more than I ever do and I feel kinda fake, I'm just a guy 5k miles away! Imagine how much his mom or sister felt. It's always hard to say the truth I think sometimes. It's silly things like when he joined Facebook and told Claire to buy me Erdinger lol. It popped up as a memory the other day and this is one of the reasons why I still even have Facebook. I loved that kid, truly and honestly he was one of a kind. If he was your friend he was your friend, they was no faking he was true to his word, if he said it he did it.

    I really do miss Egg. It hasn't gotten easier really, and I do wish he was here to share my stories with. I know he'd have loved Isabella and all her antics.Everytime I log in to Facebook or Steam his picture is there and it always will be. I honestly have bad days when I feel heartbroken when I realise that I miss him. But hey come on, the world keeps turning.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … And thinking of egg has made me beat myself up a bit as it always does. Was I really a good friend to him? Could I have stopped what happened? Looking back now all the signs were there egg didn't hide anything and even told me he was buying a gun. He was lonely since Kyle moved out and was having a bad time at work. Instead of bantering as I always do could I have been a bit more kind? I guess I have learned from that because I am more kind these days.
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    • Klemoib
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      Klemoib
      Editing … I think his family would be happy to hear you still think of him so much. He still lives on then in some form and he probably left his mark on you in a very good way. Egg was always very sweet. It was quite a shock to hear of his death. I'm happy you was such a good friend to him. He really deserved a friend like that even if it was just online and 5k miles away.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … I was just watching an interview with Chris Ryan the famous SAS soldier and it brought me back to this. He said that he had guilt for years about people that had died. If he'd just done this or that maybe it would be different. So I think it's just a natural grieving process, I mean I'm not happy about it but I have to accept that Egg was a grown adult and made his choices.
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    • Klemoib
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      Klemoib
      Editing … There was this lady that was specialized in grieving or something that talked about this on a podcast. She said it is healthy and normal to feel this way. It's because you care about the person that you feel guilty or responsible. Usually people will tell you you should not feel guilty when you are grieving because you did not do anything wrong and that is true of course, but it may be good to acknowledge those feelings as well because the feeling shows you felt responsible for him and that you cared. You cared a lot about him but now you have no place to put that care anymore. It's not something you can shake off, she said but it gets better if you do proper grieving and keep their memory alive.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … Yeah, I just wish egg was still here :(
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    • Klemoib
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      Klemoib
      Editing … It seems to help some people to "speak" to the deceased friend or family member and tell them everything that they had wanted to say or do and experience with them. It sounds weird and cheesy at first but it really seems to help people to process all the "should haves", "if onlys" and missed opportunities. I guess you should just feel that shit and not suppress it and hide it away. Grieving is part of life and I think it should be more part of society as a whole. Here we do nothing to grieve. We just plop someone into the ground and that's the end of it and we never talk about the person again. It's a sign of a very shallow view on death I think. Very Dutch.
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    • Klemoib
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      Klemoib
      Editing … What is your favorite egg memory?
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … I can't pick one. But if forced I'd say our very first interaction. I said I like this egg guy(you were in the conversation Klem, you and mancannon) and later on he brought it up that I said I liked him. So that meant something to me that it meant something to him.
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