• Filly Vanilli Filly Vanilli
    Filly Vanilli ► Feminism
    10 years ago
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    That last one. So powerful.
    • Bob GutSmasha
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      Bob GutSmasha
      Editing … I get the feeling the only guys who worry about this are the one's who target drunk girls.
      10 years ago Heart 1
    • MasterCrash
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      MasterCrash
      Editing … Hey! A girl once thought I was going to attack her when I wasn't! I understand, a bearded man running at your direction in a deserted place at 1 am and all that... BUT I WAS PRETTY SURE THE GUYS BEHIND ME WHERE ROBBERS! Or just normal dudes... I don't take the risk. I had to stop when she started running away from me though, because I started laughing so hard.
      10 years ago
    • Aramonde
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      Aramonde
      Editing … I tend not to comment on the stuff you post on this page because you got so mad about it last time. But this article is wrong and trivializes people who have been falsely accused of rape and have had their lives ruined by it. First - A feminist will debunk the "1 in 4 women will be raped or sexually-assaulted in her lifetime" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNsJ1DhqQ-s
      10 years ago
    • Aramonde
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      Aramonde
      Editing … Second - "some folks like to derail the conversation by claiming false rape accusations are widespread. And because it’s such a sensational thought, women are often accused of lying when they come forward about their rape or sexual assault." Are you kidding me?! Whenever a women accuses a man of rape the man is innocent until proven guilty. http://jonathanturley.org/2009/05/23/police-refuse-to-charge-women-who-allegedly-falsely-accused-taxi-driver-of-sexual-assault/
      10 years ago
    • Aramonde
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      Aramonde
      Editing … Third - "But using statistics from the FBI and Department of Justice, it’s estimated that on an annual basis, the odds of the average straight man (the target group overwhelmingly concerned with this) in the U.S. being accused of rape are 2.7 million to 1" Notice the word "estimated". Notice how they don't show the math of how they came to this 2.7 million to 1 ratio. This is not a factual number and how it again trivializes and disrespects people who have been falsely accused of rape. Did you see the comment by a mother who's son was wrongfully accused? "As the mom of someone who was falsely accused of rape (no, I’m not kidding myself — she eventually admitted to the lie and apologized), I can only hope that he will one day will the lottery. This story is shameful."
      10 years ago
    • Aramonde
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      Aramonde
      Editing … Yes Filly the last one is powerful. "It seems many of us would do well to pay more attention to how rape culture affects us all" that link on the rape culture says nothing about men getting raped. It only focus on women when the author was just taking about how many men are raped. "than be paranoid about false accusers" So should we not give a person due process and just believe the accuser 100% of the time? I want a fair investigation for both parties not just one or the other.
      10 years ago
    • Aramonde
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      Aramonde
      Editing … @Pape Badiane Can we PLEASE get lines breaks for comments!
      10 years ago Heart 1
    • Bob GutSmasha
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      Bob GutSmasha
      Editing … I hope it's rare. A co-worker of my mum was falsely accused of sexual assault by a young girl he was teaching last year. To make it short, their case was dropped and he has been advised to sue the girl and the organization he worked for. It's still nasty though; it cost him $7000 to defend himself and it shattered his confidence, he no longer teaches and felt shame even though he did nothing. It would be nice to see media coverage on the effect that false claims can have on people, this co-worker was really shattered, his wife supported him through it, but it could easily have ruined their marriage. It's rare I think, but it is pretty nasty when it happens.
      10 years ago
    • Filly Vanilli
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      Filly Vanilli
      Editing … People who come out about their sexual assaults are "believed 100% of the time"? Are you fucking kidding me? That's possibly the most objectively false thing I've ever seen you utter. The accuser is very often put on trial. Their character is smeared and called into question as a rebuttal for why he or she couldn't possibly have been raped. They are blamed for their assaults. If they dare to come forward they will likely face humiliation because of this, not to mention the trauma of retelling the story of their assault, again and again and again. People are ALREADY vilified for coming forward about rape, because if they're women they're accused of being lying sluts, and if they're men they're accused of being "pussies" who "should have enjoyed it." Furthermore, people accused of rape (particularly white people) are frequently let off the hook scot free, even when courts have VIDEO EVIDENCE of someone being raped. Steubenville says hi. Why would anyone want to make something like that up given how society is PROVEN to react time and time again? And you come onto my post to ramble about how the REAL problem is people lying about being raped?
      10 years ago
    • Bob GutSmasha
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      Bob GutSmasha
      Editing … I don't think he meant to imply he knew the 'real problem,' more that the article just doesn't recognize the impact a false accusation can have on a person, it trivializes it. Way more women are assaulted than men are accused of anything though: a lady dies every week from domestic abuse here in Victoria; so any 'real' problem is still the large amount of violence against women. I hadn't thought about how a victim would have to constantly re-tell the events though, or view footage again. I wonder how badly that would affect you psychologically, it would draw the trauma and anxiety out over several months.
      10 years ago Heart 1
    • Aramonde
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      Aramonde
      Editing … Seems you didn't read my posts right but i don't blame you because we can't use line breaks or Quotation boxes. I took my posts an put them into a layout on the forums. (hover it the pic and click the magnifying glass to read it). I'm hanging out with a friend so i'll respond to you tomorrow.
      10 years ago
    • Aramonde
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      Aramonde
      Editing … http://s1335.photobucket.com/user/Aramonde/media/Response_favs_zps9a938df4.jpg.html
      10 years ago
    • Aramonde
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      Aramonde
      Editing … Alright so im gonna use google docs for this. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SSyqRQtH1qw6yULfFs2NGs3yzNSXelzUyqL2rQlU0uM/edit?pli=1
      10 years ago
    • Filly Vanilli
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      Filly Vanilli
      Editing … Well, for one, I was on my lunch break at the time, so I didn't have much time to invest in this. But also, I have learned from experience to disengage from conversations about gender early on because time has proven it has never, ever been worth my time or energy to argue with people in this community about it. It ends in emotional exhaustion and frustration for me, always. Hence why you didn't get a reply before now. I'm honestly usually not in the mood to argue about certain things. But I will say this: compared to the impact of actually being raped on someone--the fact that it is disgustingly common, 1 in 4 women overall and 1 in 3 Native women, 1 in 33 men (can't remember numbers for other demographics), and the fact that it is genuinely psychologically traumatic for obvious reasons plus all of the ones I mentioned above--the very rare instance of a false rape accusation isn't causing me to lose sleep at night. Does it suck that sometimes people make false accusations? Yes. But I couldn't give less of a rat's ass if supporting rape victims means "trivializing the impact of false rape accusations" when those accused of rape already have egregiously steep advantages in court, simply by virtue of the crime in question being rape, and/or the accused holding a prestigious social position, such as a local high school football star or a Harvard hopeful whose ~future they wouldn't want to crush~. I will always, always support rape victims, I will always trust people to define their own experiences. Because not enough people do, and the cost of speaking out about an assault, on an individual level, far FAR outweighs the benefit and that means there is very little to be won in lying about it.
      10 years ago
    • Bob GutSmasha
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      Bob GutSmasha
      Editing … You should be able to talk about it without getting attacked (I mean you studied this stuff), I don't think Ara behaves like that but I didn't see your last discussion."if supporting rape victims means "trivializing the impact of false rape accusations"" I'm not sure that supporting rape victims means you would have to poop on the rare occasion that someone gets trolled. It feels like you are worried that just acknowledging it would cause people to assume that 'all' victims are lying. I'm guessing you've run across people who are trying to make that happen, probably one of those weird men's rights groups.
      10 years ago Heart 1
    • Filly Vanilli
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      Filly Vanilli
      Editing … Rape apologists do tend to grossly exaggerate the commonness of false rape accusations, so yeah. That rhetoric /is/ frequently used to dismiss the pervasiveness of rape culture. I think that's why the post was made in the first place--because this really toxic mindset that people falsely accuse people of rape all willy nilly all the time (a commonly cited reason is "a girl regretted the sex she had after the fact") is relatively common. And I think part of it is because they think that "the court didn't find him guilty so obviously that means he didn't do it!" which is incredibly naive, or just hypocritical when you look at the fact that people acknowledge OJ Simpson was obviously guilty despite the decision the jury handed down, yet when it's an accused rapist, suddenly the justice system is infallible and never lets guilty people off the hook. Honestly it just means there wasn't "proof beyond a reasonable doubt" that it happened, and after all, rape can be difficult to prove, especially because there are thousands of rape kits that police fails to utilize every year. Or in some cases there was a great deal of proof against the accused, but other factors keep people on juries from wanting to sentence the accused. Also, many people don't understand the full scope of what constitutes rape, they think rape = "strange man in a dark alley forcibly holding someone down" when most often, perpetrators are someone the victims know and involve less force and more verbal coercion/manipulation or the use of substances to take advantage of someone... Anyway, I'm not sure what we're even arguing about anymore. I don't think I'm poopooing on the fact that it happens, it's just that it's far, FAR less of a concern than how society treats actual rape victims and the fact remains that someone is far more likely to be raped (especially if you're a woman, and especially especially if you're a woman of color or a queer woman--ugh, 'corrective rape'...) than they are to be falsely accused.
      10 years ago
    • Bob GutSmasha
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      Bob GutSmasha
      Editing … Oh you weren't pooping on it, the article was depending on how you look at it. Looking at it again, I guess it's directed at the people who believe false accusations are a rampant problem rather than a once off nastyness. The message changes a bit depending on the target audience and the fact that rape apologists and other dubious groups exist.
      10 years ago
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