I've stumbled onto a major small-town conspiracy here, how about that for stress?

This town is being bled like a stuffed pig, and I got a paper trail to prove it. Check this out, take a look at this. That right there is the story. Now let's talk about the story. Can we talk about the story please? I've been dying to talk about the story with you all day, okay? Alan Wake, this name keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every day Alan's manuscripts' getting sent back to me. Alan Wake, Alan Wake I look through the manuscripts, this whole box is Alan Wake! So I say to myself I gotta find this guy. I gotta put his story in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise he's never gonna get it, it's gonna keep coming back down here. So I go up to Alan's office and what do I find out? There is no Alan Wake. The man has been missing for 13 years. So I decided, ohh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper. There's no Alan Wake, you gotta be kidding me, I got boxes full of Wake! All right, so I start marching my way down to my partner Alex Casey and I knock on his door and I say, "Caaasey! Caaasey! I gotta talk to you about Alan!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Alex Casey, he's a fictional character! Half the people in this town have been made up! This is a goddamn ghost town!