• 8 months ago
    Saved!
    I hate eating my meals on my knee, once last night was enough. I need to eat at a table. Eating at a table is the only way to eat.
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    • LizardTaro
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      LizardTaro
      Editing … *eats on the floor*
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … You monster
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    • rockshard PhD
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      rockshard PhD
      Editing … I always eat standing up. I usually finish my food quickly enough that it was not worth it to sit down.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … What do you eat? Burgers? Sandwiches? How do you even stand with a plate?
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    • rockshard PhD
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      rockshard PhD
      Editing … I stand and I hold the plate w my "arm" and hold the food or utensil using my other "arm". (I have two) Edit: Admittedly I prefer bowls over plates, less chance of spilling. I typically use plates only when it's something that requires a knife and fork, such as a steak, and I eat over a countertop. (while standing up) xD
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … I get the bowl thing. From being about 11 to my late 30s I threw everything into this bowl my mother had, it had a handle on it. When I left home I stole it. One day it cracked after I microwaved something. I was very sad. RIP bowl :(
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  • 7 years ago
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    Me: "Okay brain, just gently bite into this sandwich"

    Brain: *slams jaw closed, tearing off a chunk of flesh from inner cheek*

    Me: "Thanks brain, keep up the good work pal"
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    • rockshard PhD
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      rockshard PhD
      Editing … thank god you're still alive
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … Christ bro. And I thought it was crazy that I have trouble pooping while hearing a song (damn Zaxbys bathrooms).
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    • Sandvich
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      Sandvich
      Editing … I just had some dental work done and received the most insane amount of freezing in my life. It will be a small miracle if I manage to avoid taking a chomp out of my cheek or tongue.
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  • 7 years ago
    Saved!
    Have you ever thought about proper table etiquette?
    Because I have.
    I think about it all the time.

    I never got the whole "fork goes in left hand, knife goes in right hand." It feels more comfortable to eat with my right and cut with my left. My right hand stabilizes the food while my left c-- sorry, improper? The fuck ar-- rude? Are you calling me cutting with my left hand fucking rude? The fuck kinda pretentious bullshit is this?
    If you preach to anyone that they're eating the "wrong way" because they're holding their utensils in a naturally comfortable position, kill yourself. I once heard that you can tell how well-raised a child is by how they hold their eating utensils. You fucking what? "Oh, the poor boy doesn't know to hold the fork in his left hand. Social services can't get to them all..."
    Where did this arbitrary eating setup come from?
    Can anyone provide a rational explanation for what makes using a fork with my left hand and cutting with my right the superior layout?
    No, you fucking can't. Don't bitch about people eating comfortably, you stuck-up little shit.
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    • LizardTaro
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      LizardTaro
      Editing … SO MUCH THIS!!!! I always eat with the fork in the right hand and the knife in the left, it's just natural. If someone tells me to eat the other way around then I'll just tell them to FUCK OFF and GET A LIFE because IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU EAT.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … "Fuck off" is essentially what I go with.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … Unless I'm chewing with my mouth open or smearing grease on my face, grossing everyone out, it's no one's fucking business how I eat.
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    • free fall
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      free fall
      Editing … Fork only goes in left hand when you're cutting. It stays in your right hand until you pick up the knife, then you switch it over over to the left so you can cut with your dominant hand. It's easier that way! Unless you're ambidextrous.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … My dominant hands likes to stabilize the meat. My left hand isn't stunted, it can handle a knife.
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    • free fall
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      free fall
      Editing … No it can't! :p
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    • Sir Larosenin
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      Sir Larosenin
      Editing … I'm ambidextrous and I always cut my meat with my left hand (I love it when english makes it hard to distinguish past tense from present with its irregular verbs (sarcasm)).
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    • Nodley
      Saved!
      Nodley
      Editing … Goddam kids today. I eat all my meals at the dining table and I hold the fork in my left hand as you're supposed to. I bet you all slob in front of the computer or tv or eat on the couch. No wonder the world is in this sorry state.
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    • Explojin
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      Explojin
      Editing … I just go get a burger.
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    • Caff
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      Caff
      Editing … Knife in the right, you'll be alright. Knife in the left, you're not very deft
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Page Info

Created 2014-04-10 08:29 pm
Page creator Wrl6199
Views 313
Listed in, list of Lists as cards
Wide-tile list of VG-level Pages.
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