• 6 years ago
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    I was just thinking how do you achieve happiness? What is it? In my opinion it's not about material things, I'm happy I have some nice things I guess, but I'm not happy because I have them. I have a house which provides me with security, if you feel secure then you're happy. I have a mancave filled with games consoles, but I think I like it so much because it's a place to relax and have some me time, it's more about doing that then owning the stuff I think. It's definitely a mind thing. I'm happy because I'm loved, and I'm truly happy when my daughter smiles, that means more than anything I bought.

    Looking back on my life I have to think that the main step is to accept that there's things you cannot change. I'm short, I look like a neanderthal, my hair is uncontrollable so I have to keep it shaved short, I'm partially deaf so struggle socially at times. Back when I was younger all this bothered me, but one day I decided that I can't change it so stop worrying about it all. I truly don't care what anybody thinks and I'm a lot happier for it. Another thing I learned to accept is that people are cunts. All through life people will hurt you, but you need to accept that, and just move on. All these things are beyond your control so don't let it bring you down.

    The next step is to work hard for the things you want. Unhappy with your body? Work hard in the gym. Want to travel the world? Make it happen, work hard to save money and do it. The things you can change need to be worked at, nobody gonna give you anything for free, see above, people are cunts. Work on yourself too, try to be a good person, it's not always easy, it does require work, be the person you'd like as a friend. Achieving the things you're working for will be another step along the way.

    I think the rest will come naturally if you do what I said above. People who are unhappy will be miserable to be around, so people will dislike them. A nice happy person will always have friends, which in turn will make you even happier because you get love.

    TL DR: stop worrying about things you can't change and don't be a cunt.

    What do you guys think? Have you found another way?
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    • Sudertum
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      Sudertum
      Editing … I am still on my way (beginning to learn a second profession soon), as getting along with people meaning these selfish, greedy and lazy cunts is pretty tough to me, beeing honest is not always helpfull. So life is a marathon with obsticles constantly in your way...
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … Happiness is something you have periodically. It's not something you gain, then can keep hold of. Contentment comes and goes as we change as people. We aren't static. Our wants and desires change through time. What makes us happy now won't necessarily make us happy in the future.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … I don't know about that, maybe that's not true happiness. I can't ever get tired of love, friendship or seeing my daughter smile. I get tired of listening to the same album over and over that made me happy at first, but that's a material thing and not in the mind.
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … These things make you happy, but you aren't permanently happy because of them is my point.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … Well I'm just speaking of my personal experience of course. Maybe what makes me happy doesn't work for everybody. I made this post because I'm extremely interested in discussing this. What makes you happy Dan?
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … Family, teamwork and community. People working together. There's more than that. Lots and lots and lots of things make me happy. But those are the main things. (I can't really discuss right now, but I'll swing by when I have time.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … I do think that lot helps, but I believe, at least in my own experience, that having your own mind happy comes before anything outside of it. Those things are often taken away, like I said, people are cunts.
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … I don't see a difference in the two. Happiness from within or without both seem of equal value to me. But I guess, if you rely on others for your happiness, then you'll struggle a bit in life.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … Yeah, how often do we see seemingly happy people take their own lives? Chester Bennington, Gary Speed etc. Success, fame, money, loving family, some people have it all on the outside, but inside they're not happy.
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … I guess that's our life journey.. Seeking out fulfillment. The answer to what gives us that fulfillment is different for every individual. It's always been my belief as to the "meaning of life". It is whatever you want it to be.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … I think that I could live alone for years and be quite content. It's nice to have companionship, it means you're never lonely. But I don't think I NEED it. I don't think I need my family to be happy either, I hardly see them as it is. I'm quite happy in my own company. I like what I have, but I don't rely on it. I even went 3 years without gaming at one point, it was only Fallout 3 that brought me back. If it was taken away from me I'd just find something else.
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … I have always enjoyed my solitude, but although I know I could survive alone, having someone to share things with makes life that much better. If I dropped dead today, i'd die content that I lived a good life. I've had my fun. There is so much that I want to do and see in this world and I sorely wish I had more time to do it in. An eterrnity would be nice. But if my time is up, I'm not going to lament the fact that I never got to do them. I am a firm believer in being thankful for what you have, rather than being upset by what you don't.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … Yeah, don't worry about the things you can't control. It's good to be positive and be thankful for what you have.
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … It took me a long time to get here though. I think it comes with age. I think you truly reach adulthood once you learn to be happy with who you are.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … That's a good way to look at it. I have a set of friends who hang around together and are all the same, they are all fake. They are all about appearance, they tag themselves in at the gym every day and get their teeth whitened, go on sun beds etc, all of them cheat on their GFs and none of them are settled down yet and they are mid to late 30s. They haven't grown up yet and accepted who they are, and they all make mistake after mistake, never learning. None seem happy to me, they're insecure and have egos, they can't possibly be happy.
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    • Explojin
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      Explojin
      Editing … The News Feed format is a weird place for this, I just got done reading this thoughtful conversation on Happiness and then the next thing I read is "I love onions."
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    • Explojin
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      Explojin
      Editing … Happiness is strange, I don't think I've attained it yet. I'm too much of a cynical self doubting bastard. I should go do some peyote and maybe my mind will be opened to the possibilities that happiness can bring.
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    • Nodley
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      Nodley
      Editing … Onions help bring happiness, that's step 3. But I really do think it's all about getting your own mind happy, and doing that is as easy as just accepting things sometimes.
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