• 6 years ago
    Saved!
    I can't stand this family NO THEY'RE TERRIBLE
    Marge is getting Bart circumcised without even telling him. Lisa's said that she's never received a word of encouragement from her parents in her entire life. Bart enters competitions with the expectation of losing, because his parents have taught him he's worthless. Homer strangles his ten-year old son, and has been shown to have strangled him when he was just a toddler, too. Normally, he doesn't even remember that he has a third child. Homer's also a murderer. He got away with it. Scot-free. Clean getaway. No justice. Not even a push for vengeance. He murdered Ned Flanders' wife and no one said a peep about it.
    You know what most serial killers have in common? Childhood abuse. Bart's going to kill. If he acts right, he'll kill Homer.
    Homer killed, too. He killed Ned Flanders' wife. Homer Simpson is a murderer.
    Did the police ever do anything? No, no, the police never do anything. They only ever arrest those who do no wrong, and in the most literal sense will turn and look the other way when a real criminal is caught in the act. Burns has gotten away with the most unimaginably evil deeds. He's the actual fucking Devil.
    Springfield's Hell. There's no other explanation. Nothing goes right there. Nothing is as it should. Somehow, actual black holes have appeared in Springfield, and the doctor knowingly commits medical malpractice, planning ahead for the occasion, and Burns is a supervillain to outmatch Lex Luthor, and the police help no one, and the most picturesque family in the city is sheltering their kids at Turpin sibling levels, and their neighbors are abusers to their children and murderers and a fucking drunk that's stolen his wife's savings just to continue getting drunk and then driving drunk and crashing drunk and abusing drunk and fucking bails whenever there's a problem that needs solving from the sole provider but no he'd rather get drunk off his ass and return home when the family's asleep and choke his son to keep him in his place as a fucking failure because let's face it Bart will never accomplish anything in his life because his parents didn't get a dog for practice and now Bart's his father's punching bag and they won't even try to remedy their mistake in parenthood FUCK
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … Is this your first time watching?
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … I've been watching through the whole show for the first time for a while, currently on season 16
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … I haven't been going at binge speed so it's taking time
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … I liked the show when I was younger, but I stopped watching it when I discovered the internet, and TV completely fell off my radar.
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    • Sudertum
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      Sudertum
      Editing … The Simpsons as tv show is like a dream that becomes more and more creepy and strange at a certain point you just want it to end. Stopped my dream years ago...
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    • Sudertum
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      Sudertum
      Editing … Damn remember watching my first episodes in Germany, my Brother was a Baby at that time, recently he went 26!
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … I don't wanna stop until I at least reach the Assange episode
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … Whether a joke or not, i didnt finish that absurdity, but homer did not kill maude. He did kill a bunch of people with a mix of soda and pop rocks but that joke wad awesome so who cares. Also after season 16 was when i stopped.
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    • Sandvich
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      Sandvich
      Editing … I like when people suggest Frank Grimes is a critique of snobbish, envious, judgemental losers as opposed to a voice of reason highlighting how morally bankrupt and insane Springfield is. But to be fair, they steam a good ham.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … Homer kiiiiiiillled her
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … Remember when Homer ruined his brother's life
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … wait holy shit how many lives has he ruined
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … He ruined his brother's life on accident because his brother made a stupid managerial decision and put way too much faith in the ability of a guy he barely knew to design a car for him, and he helped fix his brother's life later.
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … Homer didn't kill Maude. Tee shirt cannon people accidentally killed her.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … HOMER MADE IT HAPPEN
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … HOMER DIDN'T TELL THEM TO HAVE DANGEROUS TEE SHIRT CANNONS THAT SHOOT AT PEOPLE AT HIGH VELOCITIES ON STAIRS WITH NO WALL!
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … HE MADE THEM SHOOT THERE AND THEN HE DUCKED
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … The racetrack people should have accounted for the possibility that some idiot would duck.
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … I gave that episode a 7/10.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … When this show ends I expect Homer to be killed. ALSO WHY DID MARGE FORCE HER SON TO GET A CIRCUMCISION WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE WHEN HE'S TEN YEARS OLD WHY
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … I don't remember that happening in the first 16 seasons. Sounds more like South Park.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … When I buy the rights to The Simpsons I'm writing in Homer's, Chief Wiggum's, Mr. Burns' deaths. Sideshow Bob too cuz he just sucks. Homer will be killed by Ned. Wiggum will be killed by driving off a bridge. Mr. Burns will try to steal candy from a baby and be pushed over by the infant, falling and breaking his neck on a staircase. Bob will die in a prison riot that's only briefly mentioned on a TV, with his image displayed under a list of casualties, but never named or acknowledged. He's just gone forever. Yes.
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … Homer.getting killed would be fine but not by ned. Or whatever. It doesnt matter. The show jumped the shark for me nearly two decades ago.
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … Sideshow bob is my 12th favorite character ever.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … Maybe Ned will die and his kids will be fostered in a family that exposes them to the real world. Then Bart will kill Homer for all of his abuse, and then a manhunt starts to locate him. In the end, Bart blows up the nuclear power plant, destroying every inhabitant in the city, except Lisa and Maggie, who flee just in time.
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … The ironic part is that Maggie is more of a murderer than Homer.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … Maggie only kills the evil
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … That's the best argument ever.
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … I could try to spin "evil is subjective" into a real argument but I don't want to.
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    • MrZAP
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      MrZAP
      Editing … This is an impressive level of vitriol.
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