• 7 years ago
    Saved!
    Have you ever thought about secret family recipes?
    Because I have.
    I think about it all the time.

    Anyone who keeps a recipe, or some minor enhancement to their meals as a "family secret" can go fuck themselves.
    Like, if you need to keep it a secret because you're selling food for profit, fine, alright, you've got an excuse. But if you've discovered a wonderful flavor and you've decided that the only ones worth knowing the secret are your own kin, well fuck you, cocksucker. Stop being such a selfish prick and share the goddamn recipe, contribute something to society you filthy piece of shit. What the fuck is this "family secret" shit-- "oh yes, you love my steak? Aha, I can't tell you how to make your steak taste good, silly! This wonderful flavor is a secret!" Here's a fucking recipe: drink bleach.
    Fuck family secret recipes.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … btw I'm not really angry, but I think it enhances the piece if it looks like I am
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … I haven't posted a "Have you ever thought about x? Because I have. I think about it all the time." rant for ages.
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    • André Mayfield
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      André Mayfield
      Editing … its 10/10 hilarious stuff man. my mama used to have a special topsekrit doughnut tell recipe for chicken gumbo, but it was alway shit, so aint nobody gonna miss that recipe now she gone. i have a "family recipe" for seafood gumbo, but it aint like its a secret. its pretty damn close to regular gumbo, just put some extra cayenne in that bitch and some seaweed, i dig it, the kids dig it, the wife hates it
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    • Gries He
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      Gries He
      Editing … Hüski, I like you. You tickle my funny bone.
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … I like Husky's rants too, but he's still not getting my pasta sauce recipe! :p
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    • Gries He
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      Gries He
      Editing … I completely lost it at the "drink bleach" part of his rant ^^
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … Mr. Gamer, don't be a FILTHY LEECH ON SOCIETY, TAKING CONCEPTS LIKE PASTA SAUCE, AND NOT SHARING YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE FIELD
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … I like family recipes cause they sound really old timey, like something a wholesome old farmer lady from a hundred years ago who's only had sex as many times as she's had children would have.
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    • Husky Wing
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      Husky Wing
      Editing … Family recipes are fine. It's the goddamned secret ones I have a problem with.
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    • Dr Eggnog
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      Dr Eggnog
      Editing … Didn't know till now there were non-secret family recipes.
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    • Explojin
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      Explojin
      Editing … My grandmother used to collect recipe books. But not the big published ones, she'd scour yard sales for the ones published by schools, clubs, churches, and what not where they just had family recipes.
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    • Silent Gamer
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      Silent Gamer
      Editing … And did it pay off? :p
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    • Explojin
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      Explojin
      Editing … Oh yea, she had some delicious meals. (some weird ones too)
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    (≡ˆ⊝ω⊝ˆ≡ )
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