I just popped to shop for a Rustlers burger. As I was picking my burger up the woman who was serving me said hello to the woman stood in the queue behind me. Enter story mode! She came out with some classic bullshit. So she was walking to the Humber Bridge, it's all true she swears it on all nine of her kids lives, and all the way there all she kept asking people was for a drink of water. But not a single person would give her water so she went to jump off the bridge. She was hanging from the bottom railing swinging about as you do when you're about to kill yourself, nobody just straight up jumps, you have to swing first, and a man came up and asked her if she wanted a drink of water. Fancy that! What were the chances! She obviously thought a sip of the old council pop would turn her life around so she climbed back up for said water. Then this man, who can't be traced to verify the story because he's not real, grabbed her and held on to her until the police arrived. But she's getting all the help she needs now apparently. Nobody said a thing, everybody looked away and the shop descended into silence for about 10 seconds, you could hear a pin drop. All this from a single "Hello". I broke the silence by saying "Cheers, see ya".

I just wanted a burger dammit. A Rustlers burger!