• 5 years ago
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    Oh hey guys, I see you all are watching the World Cup final today, I'm not, it sucks, I hate it. But I thought you'd like a bit of a history lesson on footballs, so here you go, a free lesson:
    The sport known as feetballs was invented way way back, even before Jesus itself was invented. Back then there was this guy who wanted a third testicle, bigger than the other two, and so he invented what is commonly known in the modern world as a "ball" from the greek "Ballus" meaning "ball".
    People didn't like this third testicle, so they started kicking it around and throwing it to the walls. They called this foottesticle, that comes from the conjugation of the words "Foott" and "esticle". After the name ball was adopted, the name of the sport also changed.
    After people found a way to make money with this invention they created The FA in 1863, which is like FIFA, but half-assed.
    After reaching level 35 The FA finally evolved into The FIFA, and started creating World Cups as a way to make countries hate themselves even more. The first World Cup was created in 1930, and it took a while for their plan to be completed, but after losing for three world cups in a row the German coach Hitler finally snapped and decided to invade everything out of jealousy. This event is commonly called "World War 2", that comes from the latin "Wur Wur Me Me" meaning "Shit, not again!". During WW2 The FIFA was pretty satisfied with themselves, so they stopped the world cups until the Russians fuck their plans over by making Hitler depressed enough to kill himself.
    The World Cup made it's evil return in 1950, and has been making countries mad at each other ever since. The FIFA looks to be the greatest villain ever in the history of recent times, but some people talk about a hero to dethrone them who calls himself only "PES 2008", which comes from the Portuguese sentence word "Pés 2008" which means "Foot 2008".
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