I'm having trouble dealing with the fact that I'm pretty bad at this job.

"Footlong or six inch?"

"Yes."

It blows my mind the number of customers who don't speak English well. How the fuck do they all get by in our society? I speak English and I still don't understand people.

I was told today that my manager's don't want me following what they say so exactly. I was very lawful neutral until I was told that. My moral center was following the rules. Now I don't believe in right and wrong. I guess this means that I should do whatever I feel like and not feel bad about it, but that makes me an asshole and I don't want to be an asshole. I'm a bit scared. I guess what I'm expected to do is rely on common sense, but I'm the only person in the universe that doesn't have that. This was never an issue at Zaxby's. Zaxby's wanted everyone to be soulless robots with no free will, which was awful for everyone else but great for me.

My co-worker Josh said he thought it was really cool how I follow all the rules and always try to find something to do and that my integrity is really good.

Then he started talking about religion and I couldn't help but laugh. I've never heard all that "God loves you, Jesus died for us" stuff played straight in person, I've only really seen it parodied. It was weird but kind of nice. I can see easier now how people are religious. If you hear earnest speeches like that throughout your childhood, you're probably going to believe at least for a while.

Some of the customers at Subway will say they want the "normal" or "regular" bread. There's no such thing, but they mean they want the white bread. It's sad that the unhealthy bread is the normal one. I think of wheat as the normal bread.

My manager was really pleased with how I did my first close. That's a comfort.

I think I've stayed later than what was scheduled more often than not. Today I went in for 6 hours and ended up working 13. I don't think my hands have ever been in worse shape. Gonna really lather on the hydrocortizone.

My gay co-worker finds me really sexy. I'm accidentally teasing him with my feminine mannerisms.

It's a strange situation.

So, even though it's only my first month, I worked 40 hours (the maximum you're supposed to work) this past week (Wednesday through Tuesday is a Subway week) and I was originally only scheduled for 10.

Yeah, they like me.