• 6 years ago
    Saved!
    That's all your house is- a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time.

    A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane.
    You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff.

    And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want is the shiny stuff.

    That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get...more stuff! Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore."
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  • 8 years ago
    Saved!
    If you google "best comedians of all time" the first result is a picture of George Carlin. All is well with the world.
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  • 8 years ago
    Saved!
    Too foul-mouthed for me, as are many of today's comedians.
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  • Wrl6199 wrote his opinion about George Carlin
    9 years ago
    Saved!
    A comic genius Plain and simple
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  • 9 years ago
    Saved!
    „Personally, I would never want to be the member of any group where you either have to wear a hat, or you can’t wear a hat.“

    - George Carlin
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  • 9 years ago
    Saved!
    Help me find some shoes I really like. Help me also to find a nymphomaniac coke connection who owns a Ferrari dealership.

    Let me arrive safely back at my hotel room. Don’t let me be attacked by a maniac wearing a french tickler and a space helmet.

    Don’t let my beard become entangled in the gears of a transcontinental bus.
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  • 10 years ago
    Saved!
    Here’s another question I have: How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelet?

    Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen; that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we’re better than chickens. See, nobody can do it!

    You know why? Because chickens are decent people. You don’t see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No. You don’t see a chicken strapping some guy to a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you? When’s the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh?
    Doesn’t happen.

    Because chickens are decent people.
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